regret

REGRETS

          All seven defendants in this case denied my existence and by doing so they willingly and knowingly refused to acknowledge me. Five of the seven defendant's were served their summons in this case and responded to the court. They are Gaylord Entertainment, Newmarket Capital Group, Oklahoma Publishing Company, Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment and Adam Fields Productions. All five of these defendants legally denied me my existance and any legal claim TO me. By doing so they GRANTED me my LEGAL EMANCIPATION.

          In this little corner of cyberspace I wish to spend some time with the two remaining defendant's who did not respond to the court. As such they were never a part of the legal proceedings. They are Ms. Drew Barrymore and Ms. Nancy Juvonen of Flower Films, and Mr. Richard Kelly and Mr. Sean McKittrick of Darko Entertainment. I could have filed a motion for an extension of time but there was no point in doing so. I understood the "movie" and the "reality" they were creating and I KNEW I HAD to RESPECT their creation. As one INNER GOD to four other INNER GOD'S that was the only PROPER and CIVILIZED ACTION! Unfortunately their BEAST (Frank) was creating the "movie" and the "reality."

          My intention in filing my lawsuit was to secure my legal emancipation from all seven defendant's. By denying my legal existence and refusing to legally acknowledge me all seven defendant's HAVE granted me legal emancipation from them. When the court dismissed my case on March 19, 2008 it legally secured my emancipation from all seven of the defendants.

          Since we were unable to communicate during this case, I wanted to share some of my "FEELINGS" with the two missing defendants. Below is reprinted an abridged paragraph from the letter that I sent to my prospective attorney's which you've already read.

          "my main objective and goal is to make contact with all parties involved and share with them what I know to be the truth. What they do with that truth will determine my true and real course of action. Ultimately they will be the decision makers."

          In "reality," "The Universal Natural Phenomenon of GOD" (traveling in God's channel) in the form of KARMA was ultimately the decision maker.

          Below is reprinted a few abridged paragraphs from the section of my Message entitled "REWARDS" which you read earlier and which were addressed to Mr. Richard Kelly Personally.

          "Living in the ideal world that I do, I do not like disappointments. I do understand, however, that ALL disappointments are created by our BEAST (Frank). I would prefer to work with the investors of 'Donnie Darko' and 'Southland Tales' to manifest the dreams that I have outlined in this Message. Should they not accept your admission and your redemption and choose not to ally with us then I am proposing that you and I form a joint partnership.

          I do not know the present status of your relationship with Sean McKittrick and if he knew that 'Donnie Darko' was based upon my autobiography. You know how much he is involved in and deserves credit for. On July 19, 2002, Chadwich Clough of scrimpimp.com, asked Sean when was the first time he saw the script to 'Donnie Darko.' He replied by saying: 'I believe it was ‘98 - it was the holidays.' 'So we spent maybe 3, 4, 5 months kind of just streamlining, getting the script perfect, and cutting like 20 pages out of it and focusing all of his ideas.' If Sean knew from the beginning then he is the third person involved in the creation of our 'MIRACLE.' If you believe that Sean deserves a reward for his part in the creation of our MIRACLE' then he will become our partner, if you SAY IT SO! If we include Sean in the creation of our 'Miracle' then you and I will each reward him with a share of our future wealth up to 16.66% each or one third. You decide what percentage Sean deserves and I will gladly offer him an equal percentage. As I mentioned earlier - I’m NOT a greedy man so the choice is up to you Rich whether you CHOOSE to include Sean in our 'MIRACLE' or not and how much we reward him. The decision rests solely on your shoulders and I will agree with, and respect whatever decision you make."

          I asked Mr. Richard Kelly and Mr. Sean McKittrick to accept my "GIFT" and in order to do so all they had to do was to tell the truth. Below is a reprint of a paragraph from the chapter of my Message entitled "REDEMPTION" which was also addressed to Mr. Richard Kelly Personally.

          "In 'Donnie Darko' Donnie’s dad says 'Whatever happens to you be honest, tell the truth, even if they do look at you funny - they will.' You wrote that into the script of your film Rich and now you MUST write in into the script of your LIFE! On the DVD interview with 'the cult of Donnie Darko' you stated: 'I tried to write something honest.' By telling the truth and accepting responsibility for what you have done you will DESTROY THE DELUSION THAT YOUR BEAST (Frank) HAS CAST UPON YOU, YOUR COLLEAGUES AND THE ENTIRE WORLD. DESTROYING THE DELUSION will TRANSFORM you. That is what is meant by 'THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE.' That TRUTH is you handing over CONTROL of your life FROM your BEAST (Frank) to your GOD - EXACTLY as Donnie did at the end of the film. That is the WONDROUS 'FEELING' known as

'Redemption.'"

The CHOICE to be HONEST was up to Mr. Richard Kelly and Mr. Sean McKittrick. I promised them that if things did not go the way I hoped they would with the investors of "Donnie Darko" then I would share one third of my future wealth with them. Well things did not go the way I hoped they would with the investors. Mr. Richard Kelly and Mr. Sean McKittrick CHOSE to avoid facing me in court and because the company I hired to locate them could not do so they never saw me through to mediation. Had they saw me through to mediation and agreed to tell the truth then I would have awarded each of them one third of the ten million dollar $10,000,000,00 settlement or $3,333,333.33 each for a total of $6,666,666.66. The lone attorney who took the time to read "Tiny Little Virus" and my Message and to watch "Donnie Darko the Director's Cut" told me to sue for ten million dollars. After thinking about it Richard Kelly deserved more than $9,000.00 for writing and directing the MOST RELEVANT film in the history of film. I made Richard and Sean a promise in my Message that I would REWARD each of them one third of that sum should they have permitted themselves to be served and then told the truth about what transpired. Had they given control of their SOUL (energy) over to "The Universal Natural Phenomenon of GOD" and (travelled in God's channel) they would have received their just "REWARD" for completing THEIR "TASK" by writing, directing and producing the MOST RELEVANT film in the history of film, even more relevant than Stanley Kubrick's "2001 A Space Odyssey." In light of the fact that the theatrical release date for "Donnie Darko" was October 26, 2001 the effective copyright registration date of "Tiny Little Virus" was October 26, 1998 and the effective copyright registration date of the film "Donnie Darko" is November 8, 2001 and my birthday is November 8, 1960 you begin to understand that the film "Donnie Darko" is the REAL

"2001 a SPACE ODYSSEY."

          Because Mr. Richard Kelly and Mr. Sean McKittrick FEARED, they did not MANIFEST their just REWARD in physical "reality." The promise that I made to myself was that if they didn't claim what I believed was their "fair share" of $6,666,666.66 then I would WILLINGLY forfeit my share of $3,333,333.34. Since they forfeited their REWARD I had to forfeit mine. It was never "mine" anyway so it was very easy to let go. I had to respect their decision and to honor the promise I made to myself. I promise both Mr. Richard Kelly and Mr. Sean McKittrick that when "The Future of Entertainment" has rewarded me I will REWARD both of them with the $3,333,333.33 they deserve for writing, directing and producing "Donnie Darko" and "Donnie Darko The Director's Cut," fore I understand and appreciate the MAGNITUDE of their role in the manifestation of this MIRACLE. In "reality" they deserve much, much more for their contribution as "Donnie Darko" REALLY IS the MOST RELEVANT film in the history of film! With the world as my witness, I promise that when I have secured investors for "The Future of Entertainmnet" they both WILL receive their JUST REWARD!

          As for Flower Films, actress Drew Barrymore is referred to as "The Godmother" of Donnie Darko and as the real Donnie Darko I hold her and Ms. Juvonen in the highest of regard. As I stated in my Message, without them this MIRACLE would never have manifested in physical "reality."   Ms. Barrymore invested $2,000,000.00 of her own capital into the creation of "Donnie Darko" and I'm eternally grateful and humbled by her actions. I never had any intentions of receiving any financial compensation from Ms. Barrymore or Ms. Juvonen. That selfish and ungrateful BEHAVIOR would have been sacrilegious on my part. There is only gratitude, love and understanding in my heart. In an interview with Sean Axmaker at the World Premiere of "Donnie Darko - The Directors Cut" at The Seattle International Film Festival on May 29, 2004, actress and producer Drew Barrymore is quoted as saying:

          "I would not have discovered (Donnie Darko) if it wasn’t for Nancy. We were just like, if we can enable this in any way, then it’s our honor and we’re the lucky ones. It’s one of our favorite films that we’ve ever gotten to work on and we’re so proud whenever anyone says ‘Donnie Darko’ changed my life. I was telling (him) how passionate I felt about trying to protect this because it was so special and I screamed an obscenity in the room about how frustrated I get when your thing is getting taken away from you."

          My life was taken away from me, against my will and without my permission and was turned into three films. Yet I'm not frustrated and I'm not angry - I'm all the more passionate, yet humbled about protecting the REAL legacy of "Donnie Darko," and ensuring that the TRUTH of "Donnie Darko" IS TOLD! Many people died horrible death's in order to create "Tiny Little Virus" and "Donnie Darko." Below is reprinted the section of "Tiny Little Virus," entitled "Nightmares and Dreams," where I discuss Joey's (Grandma Death's) horrific death.

          "As of June he’d become completely bedridden and lost so much weight that he was literally a skeleton. This emaciation was the hallmark of AIDS that etched - no gouged - a horrible image in my mind that I shall never forget. If it weren’t for the movement of his eyes, I would’ve thought that I was looking at a corpse. In my mind, I kept seeing the photos of concentration camp victims of Nazi Germany. Joey looked exactly like them, no muscle mass just skin and bones. Every time I visited with him I relived the horror and shock that I felt the first time that I saw those photos - only this time it was reality and it was happening right in front of my eyes. This was a very painful time for me as I’d enter his room, sit on the chair and cry like a baby. It was so painful to see him in this situation as there was absolutely nothing I could do for him. I knew that Joey was in a lot of pain but never once in that couple of months did I hear him complain. It was as though he’d completely resolved himself to his fate and was just waiting for the right moment to let go. His heartache, sorrow and sadness were now mine. Joey had clung to life for months during which time I pleaded with God to end his suffering.

          During the past several weeks of his life Joey was experiencing out of body states of consciousness where he claimed he was floating to different parts of the ceiling or to the next room. I would look where he said he was at and then glance back at his emaciated skeleton lying on his bed.

          During the middle of the night on Friday June 23, 1989, I awoke from what I thought was a dream and sat up in bed. I dreamt that in front of me stood a radiant, glowing, white vision of Joey about a foot high which seemed to float in the air. A robe like material covered his "body" which radiated a brilliant, loving light and reminded me of an angel without wings. I intuited immediately that he’d died and that he was trying to locate me so that he could "tell" me. His message was some form of telepathy - like a voice without words. Even though his lips didn’t move I "knew" that his suffering was over and that he was in a place of love and peace. An incredible feeling of calm and relief enveloped my body as the vision evaporated and I awoke from the dream.

          Upon awakening the next morning, I was very aware of the dream and of its message. I had to know if he had died so I called and sure enough he had passed away in the middle of the night. The more I thought of the dream, the vision and the message the more profound it seemed. I believe that everyone chooses their moment of death, so all I could do now was to be glad that his suffering was over and that he was in a place of peace."

Joey's "Grandma Deaths" eyes.

          Below is reprinted the chapter from "Tiny Little Virus" entitled "FEAR - the essence of HIV" where I discuss the suicide of my friend Frank's neighbor Gary. This chapter is the genesis for both the name Frank and for the FEAR - LOVE lifeline.

          "Gary was a friend of Jim and mine whom we met through our mutual friend Frank. When Gary disclosed his HIV status to his staunchly Catholic family they no longer wanted anything to do with him and refused to even speak with him. That rejection made Gary’s life almost unbearable as he felt unwanted and unloved and frightened at the prospect of having to face sickness and death from AIDS alone. Many people who are HIV positive and who have AIDS feel like damaged goods or harbor intense feelings of self loathing. Gary wanted nothing more than to be loved as a person with AIDS, which neither his family nor he could do.


          For Gary, the fear and self loathing caused by his family's rejection proved too much for him to endure. The only way out of his torturous, loveless world was an equally torturous and loveless death. He bought some rope, tied it to the ceiling of his basement and stood on a chair. I wonder if he believed that anyone loved him as a person with, or without, AIDS as he slipped the rope over his neck, slit his feet and wrists with a razor and jumped.

          Gary’s death was tragic in that the cause of his death was an obvious lack of love. Not something grandiose or expensive, he just wanted to be loved as a person with AIDS. He internalized all of the rejection toward him and manifested it as a psychotic and lethal self hatred. Sadly, for Gary and for countless other people with AIDS, love and acceptance are all too elusive. A little acceptance and love would have saved this beautiful man. AIDS hadn’t killed Gary fear had - the fear of living as a person with AIDS and the fear of living in a loveless world. With Gary, HIV taught me, in no uncertain terms, that living with fear is worse than dying and that if you live in fear you CAN’T love yourself and you CAN’T live."

          There wasn't a drop of blood left in Gary's body when he was found dangling from his basement ceiling. Not one drop! I was hoping that the horrible death's of the REAL people who were the genesis for "Grandma Death" and "Frank" would give everyone involved in "The Donnie Darko Scandal, Conspiracy, Cover Up and MURDER?" a little "perspective."

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